


government property

by coupe_de_foudre



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Army Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Crack, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Possessive Evan "Buck" Buckley, no beta we die like men, this is literally not to be taken seriously it's pure crack i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:28:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29781669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coupe_de_foudre/pseuds/coupe_de_foudre
Summary: “You know I’m back on base tomorrow, right?”“Exactly.” Buck catches his eyes in the mirror, pressing down harder over the bruise. “Now they’ll know you’re taken.”
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 32
Kudos: 316





	government property

**Author's Note:**

> another prompt sent over on [tumblr](https://a-beautiful-struggle-of-life.tumblr.com/) last night. I _had_ to write it ASAP because it had me laughing so bad at, like, 1am. it was only meant to be short but it kinda got away from me...

“ _Buck_ ,” Eddie’s complaints morph into a moan, his hands clawing at Buck’s hair as his body defies his own mind; head tilting further back to allow his boyfriend more access to the expanse of his throat. Buck chuckles, low and deep, sending vibrations down Eddie’s throat and eliciting another moan from him. “I hate you.”

A wet, hot tongue swipes out, soothing over the area Buck sunk his teeth into only moments before and Eddie squirms. Buck nudges his nose against the underside of Eddie’s jaw, littering a trail of open-mouthed kisses along the two-day old stubble there and smiles. “Love you too, Eds.”

Eddie tightens his hold on Buck’s hair, twisting the curls around his fingers as he yanks Buck’s head up to meet his eyes. There isn’t a hint of remorse hidden in them, now mostly blown black, only a thin rim of sparkling blue to be seen. Eddie sighs, trying his best not to smile. “You know I’m back on base tomorrow, right?”

Buck smirks, proud. “Exactly.” He slips out of Eddie’s hold, swivelling them both around towards the mirror on the opposite side of the room. It’s barely light out now, but Eddie can still make out their reflections. Most importantly, he can very clearly see the forming mark on his throat, almost right in the middle and definitely not easy to cover up.

Buck loops his arms around Eddie’s neck, leaning his chest into his back, and fingertips dance lightly over the hickey. It’s already turning a deep reddish, purple colour. Buck catches his eyes in the mirror, pressing down harder over the bruise and looking satisfied when a whimper slips past Eddie’s lips.

“Now they’ll know you’re taken.”

Eddie wants to roll his eyes but he can’t, not when he bursts into laughter instead. Leaning back into Buck, he tilts his head and coaxes his boyfriend down into another passionate kiss.

Buck has the day off – he may have pleaded with Bobby to let him, so he could send his boyfriend off properly, even if he is coming back tonight – so, once Eddie is out of the door, looking damn fine in his uniform and bitching about the hickey that refuses to fade, Buck collapses back into bed. He keeps the curtains closed, blocking out the sunlight in favour of rolling over onto Eddie’s side of the bed and burying his face in his pillow. It smells like him, his apple shampoo and that expensive aftershave he loves (the one thing Eddie will actually splurge on for himself) and smiles.

At least this time Eddie isn’t being shipped off halfway across the globe. That doesn’t do much to loosen the knot in his chest, though. Not when it feels so reminiscent of those long, tedious, worrying times when Eddie would be gone for months on end.

He’s just in the middle of considering the benefits of actually getting up and showering, if only to say he did _something_ productive today, when there’s a firm knock on the front door.

With a frown, Buck pulls himself off of the bed and pads out to the hallway, raking a hand through his hair and hoping it doesn’t look too messy.

Thinking it’s probably just Maddie coming to return the blender she borrowed last week, Buck doesn’t care too much about the fact that he’s only wearing one of his looser hoodies and a pair of Eddie’s old sweats (cut to knee-length), and he opens the door.

He kind of wishes he’d checked who it was first, when he comes face to face with two very official looking men.

“Uh, hi?” his frown deepens, finding himself straightening his spine in an attempt to look at least a little bit more presentable. The men give him a once over, eyebrows raised in obvious contempt.

“Mr Buckley?” one of them asks and Buck nods.

“Yeah, that’s me. Is everything okay?” he asks, unsure whether he should invite them in. A quick look behind him, at the state of the room covered in Christopher’s crayons and unfolded laundry soon answers that question. He tries to think why government officials would be knocking on his door, and panics. “Look, if this is about those grapes from the store, I _swear_ I didn’t know they were at the bottom of my cart and I already put money in the charity box to make up for it.”

“This is about Edmundo Diaz.” the other man explains, and Buck’s heart catches in his throat. Eddie? How can he be hurt? He’s on base, for Christ’s sake, it was supposed to be some simple drilling of new recruits!

“What- Eddie? What happened? Is he okay? I- fuck, I need to see him!”

“We understand you’re in a relationship with Mr Diaz.” they ignore his rambling, faces calm, and Buck tries to take a deep breath.

“Yeah, why? I didn’t think that was a problem now?”

One of the men clears his throat, seemingly uncomfortable with the situation. Buck fights the urge to clench his fist, waiting for them to explain themselves before jumping to conclusions.

“We’re here because of complaints that you defiled government property.”

Buck narrows his eyes, glancing between the two men in confusion. “Defiled government property?”

They nod. “Whilst he’s serving under the military we ask that you refrain from…” the man sucks his teeth, clearly trying to find the appropriate words, “ _marking_ our soldiers.”

Oh.

_OH._

Buck feels the flush creep up the back of his neck, spreading over his cheeks, and he has to turn away for a second before he starts spluttering. Taking a deep breath, he stands to attention and nods. “I understand, sir. I apologise for any inconveniences I may have caused.”

They thank him, wishing him a good day, before leaving.

Buck doesn’t move for a good minute or two, staring in shock at their retreating figures.

He can’t believe that seriously just happened.

Slamming his door shut, Buck runs into the bedroom again in search of his phone. It rings twice before the person picks up, “Hen! You are _not_ gonna believe what just fucking happened!”

Buck is busy cutting potatoes for dinner, the stew simmering in the pan next to him, whilst Christopher sits at the table finishing up his homework. The door opens, and he hears Christopher greet his dad but Eddie just mumbles something he can’t hear before he walks into the kitchen.

Turning to greet his boyfriend, Buck’s smile vanishes when Eddie skips their usual kisses hello and instead chooses to punch him in the arm. Hard.

“You dick.” Eddie growls, although there’s no heat in the words.

Buck goes to retort back but stops short, remembering the visit he had earlier. His eyes flicker down to Eddie’s throat, the hickey standing proudly against his skin, and Buck has to bite down on his lip to stop himself from smirking.

Eddie still notices and shakes his head. He pinches the bridge of his nose, letting out a deep breath. “You don’t even want to know the shit I went through because of you. I had to explain it to my commanding officer! My _commanding officer_ , Buck!”

Buck holds his hands up in defence, eyes wide. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal!”

Eddie huffs, arms crossed over his chest. Buck definitely doesn’t admire the bulge of his muscles in that tight army shirt, nope, definitely not super distracting at all. “Oh, it was.” Eddie assures him, “Nobody would shut up about my ‘possessive man’ all day because of you.”

Buck snorts, taking a risk and reaching out to trace the mark on Eddie’s skin. “Okay, well, I won’t do it again.” he says, sincerely. He seriously doesn’t want another knock on his door about marking his boyfriend up. He shudders just thinking about it.

Eddie sighs, sounding defeated, and grumbles out something that might be a threat not to even try it again which has Buck laughing. Leaning down, Buck steals a quick kiss from Eddie, stroking his thumb over his cheek when they pull apart. He meets Eddie’s eyes, loving how he can see the moment Eddie gives in and melts under his touch, before he says, “It does look good on you.”

With a bark of laughter, Buck has to dodge out of the way of another punch thrown his way.

“Watch the potatoes! I just cut those!”

**Author's Note:**

> crack fics aren't usually my thing so I hope this is funny?? idk lemme know your thoughts!
> 
> (this is the fic that makes buddie my 2nd most written ship on here and, honestly? love that for me)


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